When I tell people I will be backpacking in Europe for 6 weeks, they either think I am crazy or wish they could the same thing. While planning the trip to figure out which cities and countries I would like to see, my confidence could not have been higher. How could I not feel upbeat when in a couple months I can stand looking up at the Eiffel Tower, run with the bulls and all the other lunatics in Pamplona, Spain, or try to communicate with people of a different language and culture? However, the reality of it all fully hit me when I bought the tickets that would send me to London to start traveling on my own. I had a full blown panic attack. I asked myself if I had bit off a little more than I can chew. Was I just having a mid-life crisis? How could I do this to myself? Who is this wild hippy that is sending me across the world? Once I finally brought myself back to reality, I realized this has been a goal of mine for some time and I should not let fear keep me from living my dreams. Fear is normal when you take on the unknown. Fear told me I would get lost in an alley, fear questioned my ability to form independence, and fear wondered if I would get pick-pocketed and lose my passport. Fear wants me to stay in that safe little space where no danger will come into my path. Living a life worth living does not come easy. I am learning the depth of this truth day by day. I acknowledged to myself that not many people would take the same chance I am willing to take, which gave me renewed confidence in accepting the challenges that force themselves into my daily life and future goals. As I continue to plan out the small details of the trip, such as the financials of having an ATM card, renting a cellphone, reserving hostels, etc., I find myself more calm and less afraid of what the future may bring. I look forward to facing those challenges in Europe and discovering how I will overcome them and succeed. 46 DAYS TO LIFTOFF!
WHY? A Question Even I Asked Myself