Never did I imagine any of this could be possible while sitting and waiting around at home. I always dreamt of traveling, taking risks, and possibly teaching English abroad but each time that I approached the open gates in which freedom stood where I could live as I chose (traveling and otherwise) fear jumped in front of my path staring me down with its tall, dark, cloaked and hooded shadow, an always haunting and menacing image. Fear raised up its two large outward faced palms to stop me, to tell me that this is simply not possible, that it cannot be done. Now on this trip, I am peeking my head out from the bushes in which I long lived. In a way, I metaphorically picture it as the movie ‘The Village’. For the longest time (to no one’s fault in my own family because that is just how it was done), I accepted the standard way of life and how things proceeded. You had to do A, B, and C checking off each box as you went living out your days while never allowed to crumble up that stack of papers and throw them into the bin. Why not go outside the box I said, but it wasn’t that easy. I am a rare breed out here for a reason because fear holds us there in that box feeding us sugar plums and lollipops to prevent us from thinking of more. Having these fascinations of looking elsewhere caused the bewildered herd to shout out that that was ‘baaaaad’ (as a quote from ‘Dead Poets Society’ went) and foolish. I had wanted to get off the well worn, beaten path but people kept telling me that I will get lost, that there is no way out. My own imagination, desires, and ambitions went against the norm who tried to keep me still, holding me in place. How can someone go on living a life that their every bone in their body opposes? I was a wreck in every sense of the word. I may not find what everyone else supposedly seeks but rather what I seek. Not until I left the deep forested village behind me did I realize I was no longer crazy. People are out here from all walks of life wanting the same thing. I will return one day but things won’t be the same. I will not be returning blindly to assume the same role that was once always carved out and destined for me. Hopefully my lessons can spread from my own inner circle but then again I realize I can’t change the world but only control what lies within.
Lessons Learned While Globetrotting (Part 9)