Thoughts (taken from Southeast Asia):

‘I am the one who knocks’ – channeling my inner Heisenberg 

After all I’ve put up with getting dragged through …

Sometimes I wonder to myself ‘what is the point of all this? Why bother?’ Why keep trying to visit this next temple, sample that latest dish prized by locals, walk through another forest? 

I will admit I do have thoughts of going home especially when the heat simply has become too much. Plus, I miss family, friends, comforts taken for granted. 
I also have to ask myself will I be dealing with another kind of culture shock when I get back home. I know that I will be at a different place than most others I will meet back home. Even though my home with the people in it and around it will be essentially the same, unchanged just as I had left it and them, I will be different there is no question about it. 
Straight line vs zigzag

Also, I have to wonder whether I am some wandering soul struggling to grab ahold of something to give me a center of gravity. Sometimes I wonder if I will catch that line.

I have this curiosity about the world that would kill me if I left it untouched and unexplored – a proverbial death sentence.

I am in this moment, this year of Anthony, exploring the world as the playground it should be. I am taking myself back to my childlike dreams to keep an open mind sight and believe that I can achieve anything during a time when it was acceptable. We were allowed as children to have these thoughts while others ‘who knew better’ would nod and smile knowing they would simply grow out of it with time and realize their place in the world.
The world offers so many hidden possibilities that we have forgotten or chosen to neglect. What happened to the childlike wonder and innovative spirit? Why can’t I live life with the ambition of a child? Whimsically unaware of the odds. I may not become a celebrity of some notoriety which is in fact far from what I seek to achieve. At the end of the day I want to feel special in some way as I am sure most of us do. What sets us apart from the rest? What makes us genuinely different from the crowd around us?
I hope when the last grain of sand drops through in my hourglass and when the clock strikes midnight on the last of my days that I can say that I had tried, that I had given life my every last shot while taking each punch in stride too stubborn to quit. Life can be a mean son of a bitch but I think if you don’t let it drag you down as easy as that option may appear it will reveal the fruits of your persistence. None of life’s great rewards and worthwhile moments was ever given freely without some effort. It was earned by grinding away through the sacrifices and the hardships so that one day you WILL (not maybe) see that long forgotten light shine upon you. Life can suck at times. I haven’t experienced as many life trials as others but for my age I think I have seen enough and did enough to know a little bit here and there. At times you must endure and accept getting kicked around time to time when the reward for all that you have been through never seems to amount to anything, that you haven’t given enough.
I have found that there are more paths to life than what has been always written for our futures and I’m sure more will continue to open up if we seek what we always yearned for. Without great lengths of curiosity to explore the unknown you will end up with what you have always known and what kind of world is that? Life was not given to you to be held onto and protected like burying all of your savings in a hole somewhere; it was designed in the hopes of being released into the wild of the world to test its limits and discover what can be found in the shadows. And from those shadows, those hidden dark places that just seem too scary you can be reborn as the person you have always seen yourself as.
Life shouldn’t be complicated but it is with so many polarizing influences telling you what you should or should not do. The emphasis is always to keep to the status quo, to not rock the boat.
I hope all these lessons will finally and fully sink in at some point in my life but I am not perfect (big shocker there)

Every ounce of logic had once told me otherwise but I now have to ask what being, what creature real or abstract on this earth is capable of stoping me from achieving what I want and desire?
If you want it badly enough it is there for the taking
How do you know what you are capable of unless you go out and try?
Don’t let fear take you prisoner and feed you with lies that can keep the feeble minded satisfied for all their years. A more satisfying and wholesome concoction is waiting. It is not readily available and not easily seen but it is there. The real question is will you be there too?

To open your mind to what is possible both within and outside yourself, to expand your imagination.

What makes an engineer, doctor, lawyer, CEO better than me or any other? Are they happier than me. What defines success?


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